I HAVE MOVED!

Follow me on www.uhululu.tumblr.com

Fundamental Identities and all that Trigo sheez.

Oh my, today is the one day which I fully utilised my holiday by squeezing 3 tuitions in one row. I’ve been grilled for 5 hours luhhh, seriously. All the fundamental and further trigo shit, hahaha why do we even need to learn that?

yes and as much as i will continue hating it, i still have to study it?

OKAY PSYCHE MYSELF TO LOVE IT.

EVERYONE I LOVE TRIGO

HAHAHAHAHA roar, my mummy wants to go to the comex fair.

and i have to say No. Temptation. but no.

Okay nvm (:

yesterday I went to Sentosa with Claire, Sam Bay, Marie, Theresa, Stephen, Shaun, Terence and Gerard! hahahaha it was goodie good to be out in the sun again, but I think I’m charred, plus you know I went for face & eyebrow threading before going, so my skin is more porous (sp? ) yeahhh!

anddddd we wanted to watch Time Traveler’s Wife at 9.10, but yeah I ended up at Claire’s house doing A Maths again. Hahaha then Shauna came over to boast about his smartness in maths. OH OH and when I came home which was like 12.45, my mummy mummy mummy said that she is gonna contemplate about getting me the HTC touch pro phone! HAHAHA yayyyy (:

alright people, go study.

it’s good for our brains.

Blemish Patches/. They’re good.

Today is Wednesday, and according to wikipedia, it’s the day the sun and moon were created.

Roar, it’s already Wednesday you know! Like seriously, how can the days past so quickly!

Okay let’s re-roll what I did since it kicked start,

Friday – Mass, Helped with the fun fair deco, Supper @ Macs.

Saturday – FUN FAIR DAY! Mend the games stall, did face painting, laughed a lot, chit-chat at Sheryl’s office.

Sunday – Novena Procession (: ” 60 Years of Faithfulness ” , Supper with my family.

Monday – Student LPI Workshop, Shine Jesus Shine Rally- the crowd was dead.

Tues ( which was yesterday ) – Student LPI Workshop, Mass, Dinner with the Churchies, Drinks with Louisa & Shaun, watched 17 Again.

URGH, cant believe my 2precious days are goneeeee to the LPI workshop, but it was very good. Because I discovered a lot of things about myself which I never knew, got me thinking a bit. I realised that I had no visions or purpose in my SECULAR life. I also learnt the Top 5 values that mattered to me!

1. Spirituality/ Faith

2. Love / Affection

3. Hope

4. Courage

5. Simplicity

Amongst the long list of ” Most Matters” I chose these 5. And for the ” Least Matters”

1. Recognition

2. Beauty

3. Competition

4. Curiosity

5. Innovation

Pretty awesome huh.

oh well, tonight I have A Math tuition, that could be the possible reason why I’m feeling so sian.

no it could also be because I have to run some errands first, before I can start studying!!

Why can’t I have a personal secretary who can do them for me?? Then I can concentrate on studying only.

Urgh, I’m jumbled up. Gotta fix ME soon.

Photos from the Fun Fair!

YAY my cupcake making.

What Love Means To Me?

What love means to me?

Love, the word itself, though 4-lettered, encompasses answers and essence which even provided with a lifetime, does not suffice at all. One can travel to the ends of the earth in search for this fulness but before we experience the absolute completion of oneself, where are we suppose to relish the strength to keep us going?

Your family.

That is one answer I ultimately found throughout the whole this week. You know I am really one blessed girl, despite having no other siblings to share my emotions and fond memories with, God blessed me with a bigger family, my aunts, uncles, cousins, grandmothers. Having 13 aunts and uncles, 53 cousins on my maternal side, it is really a big family. The best time where we always reunite is during CNY which also happens to be Grandma’s birthday. She is the stronghold of this family because of her ever giving love towards her children and grandchildren.

As some of you may have heard, we just experienced the passing of Uncle David. It was all too sudden. Like why you know? But at least God gave him the gift of time, to finish the last few things he wanted to do before seeing our Lord. Felicia was in New york, she didn’t get to see him one last time, but they had their last conversation on the phone…

The wake started on Monday at the Church of Our Lady of Lourdes,  with a nice Hall of Repose where Uncle’s body rested at. They say that you don’t measure a man’s success by his wealth, but by the people who remember him when he dies. I guess Uncle indeed was successful, perhaps even much more than that, many many people turned up. All throughout the course of 3 days, I’ve been there with my family and it was really a time of solid good reflection for me. Time spent there, was time spent only on two things. Constant prayer and reflection. I have never in my life attended that many masses and prayer services in a day as compared to these 3 days. Today, as it marked the last final day of the wake, as well as the day of the cremation, it was especially heart-wrenching for each and everyone of us. Dad was very close to Uncle, and we would always remember them both at every year’s Novena procession across the road’s coffeeshop drinking coffee while everyone would be praying, and as bad as it sounds, these were memories that would grow fonder. He would also constantly share with my Dad on parenting skills and how he really strives to be a good father.  Yes, and so it started with rosary, prayer service, and then 12.30 noon mass in church, followed by Funeral mass at Church of the Risen Christ, Service once more at Mandai Crematorium. The moving of the coffin from Our Lady of Lourdes to Risen Christ was a tremendously painful one for many, flowers were slowly removed from the wreaths and offered to us the family, friends, colleagues and people who came, to place it into the coffin as a last sign of respect, for it was the final time before it was going to be sealed. As we wept, it’s not hard to think about how when one dies, do we understand deeper how much others love us so much more than we can ever know. The white roses, lilies, daffodils slowly covered his delicate hands as they screwed the cover to the coffin. Moving from the van as the Ave Maria played, was just…..

The funeral mass in Risen Christ was a quiet, peaceful one, just like how I know Uncle would loved it if he was to be present. Going to the crematorium was really ultimately just it. I still feel the loss now. You know having everyone gathered in the Viewing Hall, as they wheeled his coffin out into the furnace.. can you imagine how it was like… grief gushed out ceasingly. and when the shutters of the furnace closed as you saw the balance part of the coffin being wheeled it. It’s really so miserable, and painful, it keeps replaying over and over again, etched in my mind. The brown shutters closed, just like that. Hail mary was being prayed all throughout when these were happening, and Audris spoke in tongues, as she cried her goodbye to her Godpa, which was uncle. Thank god for sending his holy spirit to be with us.

After the cremating, it was just a moment of absolute grief.

I dont think I can go on further, so I’m gonna end it here.

I have learnt so much over the past 3 days, and when the time is much better I’ll share it with you. But I never could have been stronger without these people.

First of,

God, who spoke in the gentleness and stillness of my heart.

My family.

Friends, really really God-sent angels.

Tim, Freeman, Mark – For coming down to the wake and praying (:

Shaun – For also coming down to the wake, praying and buying me awfully Choc’s ice cream, haha it helped!

Lynette & Ru Hui- Haha, girls you practically saw me at my worst in school, the shittiest side of me, and you girls still held me as I cried.

Janet, Zena, Jacq, Grace – The pillars of my strength, who understands and ” Bao Rong ” me the most.

Kah Hui & Nat Poh – Who gave me the best hugs and notes.

Alex & Mars – For being ever so thoughtful and wonderful.

Nut – For allowing me to skip Dance for the wake

Nigel, Andre, JP, Johann,  Gerard, – For keeping my family in their prayers

Sabrina, Joan, Clara – For being the most supportive and encouraging

Ms Tan – Who really embraced me Monday morning when I went off key, assured me, and was so concerned about me in school. & even in the evening , embraced me again. Hugging her is like hugging  God.

And to those whom I haven’t mentioned, I didnt forget you but these are the few I can recall of hand at the moment.

Thank you so much really, in one way or another,

continue to keep us in your prayers, especially for Aunty Maria, Felicia and Eugene, that the Lord will continue to be their easing balm.

We remember how you loved us to your death;

and still we celebrate for you are with us here.

We believe that we will see you,

when you come, in your glory Lord.

We Remember, We Celebrate, We Believe.

A million things are running in my mind right now.

Somehow it feels like every snippet of my life now is essential in my growth as a person in all aspects. Or rather it’s the spiritual part that’s keeping everything together and in place, allowing me to cling onto every possible hope which the future might bring. The theme for the Serangoon District Youth Rally was “ Setting our hopes on the Living God” , being able to fully trust the Lord’s actions and will, and not hand-twisting him with what we want/hope for.  In my life, I believe God has placed these special people who remind me unwittingly about the magnitude of his love which I experience through others in my walk of life.  I believe that I have come to learn about myself slowly; that I am one who is easily touched, and willing to go all out for someone, and accept others in all forms. Maybe that’s why I try to seek and recognise these qualities especially in my friends.  As I was just talking to Joan last week, she was saying about how she has certain expectations in her friends, like in thought and behavior wise, it struck me because hey what was my expectations ? Something which I find hard to overcome, is that I’m always living up to others’ expectations of me, that I neglect all together what I really want.

Okay I’m feeling sleepy, cant continue.

Sometime later I guess.

What A Weekend!

This weekend has been the craziest, busiest, happiest time! With Investiture on Friday, SDYD yesterday which was Sat!

and upcoming Monday tomorrow, which is the climax of the LISS! Baptism of the Gifts of the Holy Spirit! (:

Hahahaha, I’m damn high and happy now. Yes yesy yes. wheeee (:

but guess what tuition today’s like hardcore, 1-5.30 man.

will blog in detail about SDYD later.

oh well, some pictures from Invest!

Yay, Ms Tan (:

There seems to be so much going in my life now, feels as if I’m going through some sort of major “under site construction” moment. Which is why when I came across this picture on my friend’s blog, it particularly spoke out to me. Life for me, has indeed reached the messy state, and it’s definitely not something I am very proud to share about but it isn’t something I would hide either. I guess I still hold onto the belief that in all things you experience, whether for the good or for the bad, you have to share it. It’s just a matter of how you do it. For me, I guess I’m not much of a vocal person in voicing out my problems, happiness or anything for that matter, sounds a bit like a misfit right? Well if you do know me personally, not being vocal is probably one of the things which you’d hardly expect because I enjoy speaking a lot, public speaking, debating, blah blah blah, you name it, I love it.

But sometimes you’ll just want to have your own quiet reflective moments, where you can be left alone to sort certain things out in your mind, and I guess that’s something I am lacking in my life. Procrastination, I feel, has taken over my life. It’s slowly consuming me bit by bit, and I know that I am taking baby steps with and under the wonderful guidance of God. I was just thinking on my way home, where, who, what is in my life now… Indeed, things have changed so adversely. I would love to say that life before this phase was beautiful , but now it’s much more than an expression of one word. Another thing that I know I am trying to overcome, is fear. You know I always underestimated the magnitude of fear, as I don’t usually encounter it in my life at any aspect because I’m always apt with the courage and strength to face each and every thing. But it’s only until recently have I realized that the fear inside me, is starting to resurrect again. This emotion now seems so new, surreal that it often leaves me awe-strucked at what I should be doing next. Something which I always find myself asking “ What should I do now/next” , always trying to secure the future, but never really living the present. Some quote from somewhere popped into my mind lately, I can’t recall where I got it from but it goes like God who presents us with the Present, gives it to us as a loving gift. Living for the moment is probably what I’d most probably fail at, because I know that secondary to God, I live for others’ and their expectations of me. When I don’t fulfil these expectations, I will feel very disappointed with myself and then I will add on more pressure for myself.

Yup, we all have this softer side in us, and I just wished that sometimes we could all be more genuine with who we are and what moulds us to who we become.

There are lots of thoughts running through my head, and I need to Collect & Connest them first.

I’ll let you know.

Meanwhile, keep me in your prayers, cause I’m definitely keeping you in mine.

Love,

Estelle.

There seems to be so much going in my life now, feels as if I’m going through some sort of major “under site construction” moment. Which is why when I came across this picture on my friend’s blog, it particularly spoke out to me. Life for me, has indeed reached the messy state, and it’s definitely not something I am very proud to share about but it isn’t something I would hide either. I guess I still hold onto the belief that in all things you experience, whether for the good or for the bad, you have to share it. It’s just a matter of how you do it. For me, I guess I’m not much of a vocal person in voicing out my problems, happiness or anything for that matter, sounds a bit like a misfit right? Well if you do know me personally, not being vocal is probably one of the things which you’d hardly expect because I enjoy speaking a lot, public speaking, debating, blah blah blah, you name it, I love it.

But sometimes you’ll just want to have your own quiet reflective moments, where you can be left alone to sort certain things out in your mind, and I guess that’s something I am lacking in my life. Procrastination, I feel, has taken over my life. It’s slowly consuming me bit by bit, and I know that I am taking baby steps with and under the wonderful guidance of God. I was just thinking on my way home, where, who, what is in my life now… Indeed, things have changed so adversely. I would love to say that life before this phase was beautiful , but now it’s much more than an expression of one word. Another thing that I know I am trying to overcome, is fear. You know I always underestimated the magnitude of fear, as I don’t usually encounter it in my life at any aspect because I’m always apt with the courage and strength to face each and every thing. But it’s only until recently have I realized that the fear inside me, is starting to resurrect again. This emotion now seems so new, surreal that it often leaves me awe-strucked at what I should be doing next. Something which I always find myself asking “ What should I do now/next” , always trying to secure the future, but never really living the present. Some quote from somewhere popped into my mind lately, I can’t recall where I got it from but it goes like God who presents us with the Present, gives it to us as a loving gift. Living for the moment is probably what I’d most probably fail at, because I know that secondary to God, I live for others’ and their expectations of me. When I don’t fulfil these expectations, I will feel very disappointed with myself and then I will add on more pressure for myself.

Yup, we all have this softer side in us, and I just wished that sometimes we could all be more genuine with who we are and what moulds us to who we become.

There are lots of thoughts running through my head, and I need to Collect & Connest them first.

I’ll let you know.

Meanwhile, keep me in your prayers, cause I’m definitely keeping you in mine.

Love,

Estelle.

absolutely wednesday.

alright i havent been posting since a longie longie time!
been busyyyy, like yeaaaaha
hahaha okay , I think work is stupid because we do not communicate personally with work and I think that since we’re human we need to engage with others on a more personal level, but I’m not trying to say that we have to eradicate that, cause that’s only gonna sound stupid but yeah. As you can tell , my mind is not exactly coherent with my thoughts now, so I’m just gonna type as it is.
Yeaah.
theres lots of english homework today :/ not that u’d be interested right! hahaha okay.
yeaaha Dr Maha’s been giving tons of work! like compre and summary which takes up lot’s of time ):
i’m still attempting to write a good solid essay on Marriage at this hour yeah.
Hi everyone, i hope your week’s been going on great.
What I currently need now is, sleeping time.
lot’s of them
oh and reflection time = quiet time.
cant really think much lately because of all the transitions that are changing so quickly.
so much for time management.
yeaaah, i feel like closing my eyes for 15 mins, but I have this premonition that I will end up sleeping all the way so I better not.
something to look forward to is,
I’m going shopping with Joan tomorrow, but not that kind of girly shopping, but it’s to chinatown to buy cloth for Invest’s banner, still it’s gonna be fun! hahaha.
After shopping, then I needa collect the foot thongs from Tanglin Mall, then I need to collect the PIGs shirt from Peninsula Plaza.
hahaha woohooo! yay pigs shirt are outta.
woohoo! PRAISE IN GLORY.
yeaaah anyways, got lots of things on my mind that I wanna do, just gotta find time to commit to them.
pray for me!
I need them, a lot.
hahaha, God’s the only reason why I’m pulling through all these.

Clinging, gripping, holding.

can’t wait for sat tooo.
(:

Woohoo I’m actually blogging from my touch:))
Yup today’s Thursday, the day I’ve been waiting for so long
Cause it’s the long National Day weekend!! Haha I need
Tonnes of time to finish up a couple of stuff altogether;/
How’s your week been? I hope it’s been pretty good too:)
Anyways my awesome friends got into Council!! Yay Clarice and Nut:)) I’m so haaaaappy for them wheee ex co results are out tmr haha sure no chance cause it doesn’t matter any more right:))
Mmm I hope to go reflecting by myself this week(: Godspeed
All my work and revision.

Wavessss too much of Physics man.

Week 5.

Friday’s in again! Hahaha yeah this week passed awfully quick with lots of funny things happening along the way. Many people are like falling ill, let’s just hope this whole virus-in-the-air thing would end soon. Wednesday and Thurs was kinda a bad day for me :/ I guess when circumstances comes to you face to face it’s hard to stay oblivious to them? Don’t know, everything seems bleak at the moment, going back into the searching phase again. But I’m happy because I know that there’s people there for me, and above all God, that his reasoning is beyond my understanding. By the way, it’s 5.53 on a Friday morning, just up early to print some notes for Social Studies, there’s a test later on, wish me luck and pray!

Sun salutation.
Hail the Yogeee.